Why do bad things happen?
My most simple response: I have no idea. I resonate with the debate: how can an all knowing God permit evil? How can an all loving God allow it? How can an all-powerful God not intervene? A seminarian friend of mine suggested one has to get rid of one of the omni’s (omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent) for this debate to be reconciled.
I do not claim the ability or the desire to fully comprehend God. And so I wrestle with what I can see and know, and I accept the inner call to do something about the suffering I see.
My daughter (Miss three) said to me the other day, out of nowhere: “Why do boo boos happen?” I paused and really delighted in her question, and got down on her level. I said to her as I say to you now: I really don’t know sweetheart. I affirmed her acknowledgement of pain: “Boo boos are no fun are they?” Then I moved into comfort and action: “What is the best thing to do when we get boo boos?” And we discussed together the ways to receive and offer comfort. Obviously a frozen ice pack, preferably in the shape of cookie monster or spider man, was in order and snuggles, oh and a Band-aid of choice.
I was part of the nationwide grief in November 2013 when more than twenty people were needlessly killed. I felt pushed over by the grief, the pain, the fear of how it could be possible. As I stood on the shores of disbelief, a friend shared this idea with me from Fred Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”
I felt something shift within me. Instead of plunging into the horror of the offense, I could be purposeful about where I focus my attention and look for the relief. As Helen Keller says; “Wherever there is suffering there is the overcoming of suffering.”
I posted the anecdote with my three year old to Facebook and I was delighted by the responses. One friend said: “Why don’t more bad things (and boo boos) happen?” A solid question.
I recently received a bit of difficult news in life, but I find peace in not asking myself to label an experience as good or bad, but in choosing my response. When considering the question “Why do bad things happen?” What if instead I asked: “How will I respond to the suffering I see before me?”
It is my belief that my belief is irrelevant. As reflected by Emanuel Swedenborg discussing what happens after we die “The question is not asked what your belief has been or your doctrine, but what your life has been. Was it such or such? For, as is known, such as one’s life is, such is one’s belief, yes, one’s doctrine. For life fashions a doctrine and a belief for itself.” (Divine Providence 101 ). No matter how one explains the nuances of why bad things happen, the most important thing is the action we take, the comfort we offer. At times it takes a great deal of self discipline (and often the support of trusted friends) not to sink down into the horror of it all, to say to myself, “I will not despair,” though I say it feeling weak. I know, heart knowing, that there is a loving force in this world. A force I want to align with. A force inviting me to partner in the effort to alleviate such suffering. To do no harm.
What is your view? How do you reconcile the suffering in the world? What is your understanding of ‘Why Bad Things Happen?’?
[If you want to read more on this topic, check out ‘Why do bad things happen?’ http://www.newchurchconnection.org]
Our attitude in the face of life’s challenges determines our suffering or our freedom.
Tara Brach
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
Even Here, Even Now 
April 16, 2013 at 12:37 am
Thank you sweet Bron.
April 16, 2013 at 1:16 am
As angry and frustrated and horrified as I felt at first, I do know, deep inside, that we need to soften and open and keep giving for it to eventually stop. And, I still hope we find out who and how and why this happened. Sigh…